21 7 / 2012
Male privilege is not being questioned or berated when choosing not to take your spouse’s last name as your own.
There is no right way to do this.
If you do take his name, you are abandoning yourself and your individuality and succumbing to patriarchal and societal pressure.
If you don’t take his name, you’re a bad wife, a feminazi harridan, and probably going to be divorced in five years.
Nevermind if you don’t like your maiden name, which is also a man’s name, because it’s gotten mocked and mispronounced for the last 28 years.
Nevermind if you don’t like hyphenating, and your names wouldn’t really sound all that great together.
Nevermind if you take your mother’s maiden name, it’s still a man’s name. Nevermind if you take your grandmother’s name, it’s still a man’s name.
Nevermind if he takes your name, it’s still a man’s name, and he will also probably be endlessly mocked for no real reason other than it’s beyond the norm.
The ONLY way to skirt the issue is to create an entirely new name for yourselves.
Which we did not do. I took his name and moved my maiden name to my middle name. If it’s good enough for my mother and Hilary Rodham Clinton, you bet your ass it’s good enough for me.
It is, however, a totally ridiculous and roundabout process, completely obnoxious and annoying. Think about it, and decide what YOU want to do and what is best for YOU, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.